I still have moments where my mind simply refuses to accept it

 I still have moments where my mind simply refuses to accept it.

Moments where losing you feels impossible.
Wrong.
Like the world made a terrible mistake and forgot to fix it.
Sometimes I walk into the house expecting to see you waiting there, tail wagging so hard your whole body moved with it.
And for one tiny second…
everything feels normal again.
Then reality returns.
Quietly.
Cruelly.
And the silence hits all over again.
This feels wrong because you were woven into every part of my life.
You were there for the ordinary days nobody remembers.
The sleepy mornings.
The late-night snacks.
The storms I pretended didn’t scare me until you pressed against my leg like you knew the truth.
You became part of the rhythm of this home.
So now when the rhythm disappears, everything feels off-beat.
The floor stays too clean without pawprints.
The hallway stays too empty without the sound of you following me.
Even happiness feels strange because some part of me still turns to look for you first.
That is the painful thing about unconditional love.
It changes your entire world so deeply that even after goodbye, your soul still searches for them everywhere.
I still talk about you in present tense sometimes.
Not because I forgot.
But because love like yours never truly feels past tense.
And maybe that’s why grief can feel so confusing.
Because somewhere deep inside us, the bond still exists exactly as it always did.
Some nights I sit beneath the stars and ask the universe to take care of you for me.

To let you run freely again.
To let you rest somewhere peaceful and warm.
To let you know that even now, after all this heartbreak, you are still the most loved soul I have ever known.
Maybe the reason this hurts so much is because what we had was real.
Pure.
Safe.
Once-in-a-lifetime kind of love.
So yes…
this feels wrong.
Because a heart never fully understands how to live in a world where someone so important is suddenly missing from it.