Sometimes it makes my stomach drop

 Sometimes it makes my stomach drop to think about the moments my kids might hold onto one day.

The ones where I was stretched too thin.
The ones where my patience ran out before the day did.
The ones where I didn’t handle things the way I wish I had.

I know they’ll remember some of that.
I’m human and they see it up close.

But I hope, more than anything, that what settles deepest in their hearts is the way I loved them.
The way I tried.
The way I kept choosing them even on the hardest days.
The way I apologized when I messed up.
The way I never stopped learning how to be better for them.

I hope their memories are full of laughter in the kitchen, late night snuggles, warm hands, soft voices, and the feeling of being safe.
I hope the good outweighs the rest by miles.

Because I’m not aiming for perfect.
I’m aiming for love that lasts longer than my mistakes.