I haven’t landed since

 I haven’t landed since.

Since the day you left…

It feels like a part of me has been floating somewhere between yesterday and tomorrow.

Not really here.

Not completely there.

Just suspended in the quiet space where love keeps searching for the one it misses.

People tell me life goes on.

And they're right.

The sun still rises.

The mail still comes.

The dishes still need washing.

The world never forgot how to keep moving.

But my heart…

My heart stumbled the day yours grew still.

There are moments when I catch myself smiling at something beautiful.

A butterfly drifting across the yard.

A dog chasing leaves with that same joyful clumsiness you had.

The smell of rain on warm pavement.

For one tiny second…

I forget.

Then I remember.

And it feels like my feet leave the ground all over again.

Grief is strange that way.

It doesn't always feel like falling.

Sometimes it feels like never quite touching the earth again.

Like you're carrying so much love that there's no room left to stand firmly.

I still reach for your leash some evenings.

I still leave space beside me on the couch without thinking.

I still look toward the window when I hear the wind, half expecting to see your nose pressed against the glass, waiting for me with those patient, loving eyes.

The habits never really disappeared.

They simply became quiet reminders that someone extraordinary once lived here.

Someone who turned ordinary days into my favorite memories.

Then, little by little…

Something changed.

Not the missing.

I'll always miss you.

But the way I carried it.

I realized I wasn't floating because I had lost all direction.

I was being held by a love too deep to disappear.

Maybe that's what you left me.

Not just memories.

But a place to rest inside my own heart.

Now, when I close my eyes, I picture you where every step is easy.

Running through endless green meadows beneath a sky brushed with soft gold and gentle rainbows.

Your paws no longer ache.

Your breathing is effortless.

Your eyes shine with the same happiness that always greeted me at the door.

Sometimes I imagine you looking up at the clouds…

Wondering why I'm taking so long.

Patient as always.

Certain that one day I'll find my way.

And maybe that's when I'll finally land.

Not because I'll have forgotten you.

But because I'll be running toward you.

You'll race across that beautiful meadow with the joy only dogs know how to give.

I'll fall to my knees, wrap my arms around you, and for the first time since goodbye…

Everything inside me will feel whole again.

Until that day…

If my heart still feels like it's floating…

I know why.

It's because the greatest part of it has always belonged to you.

And love like that never truly comes back to earth.

It simply waits… until we're together again.