I’m not repeating what broke me

 I’m not repeating what broke me.

I’m becoming what I needed.

The truth is, I spent a long time trying to be someone that would make other people proud. Someone easy to love. Easy to handle. Easy to forget.

But I don’t want my children to carry that same weight.

I want them to feel safe in who they are not in who the world says they should be.

That means I have to show them what healing looks like in real time.
It means I pause and breathe before reacting.
It means I apologize when I mess up.
It means I create space for their feelings, even when they’re big and inconvenient.

And it means I say no to anything that asks me to abandon myself for the sake of keeping others comfortable.

Because the truth is, they don’t need a perfect mother.
They need a present one.
A healed one.
One who dares to go first.

This work isn’t easy.
But it’s sacred.

And if all I ever do is become the person I needed
Then maybe I’ve already broken the cycle.