Joan Rivers
Here were some of Joan Rivers hilarious quotes;
“I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.”
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”
“I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.”
“I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”
“My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.”
“I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.”
“The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.”
"Women should look good. Work on yourselves. Education? I spit on education. No man is ever going to put his hand up your dress looking for a library card."
.
"When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off."
.
"I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life. Peeping Toms look at my window and pull down the shade. My gynecologist examines me by telephone."
.
"Every woman in this room tonight: Think like a second wife. You grab and you take. You grab and you take. And when you die, whatever you got out of him you have buried on you. If the next bitch wants it, make her dig for it."
Reacties
Een reactie posten