The Workman's Friend

When things go wrong and will not come right,

 Though you do the best you can,

 When life looks black as the hour of night -

 A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

 When money's tight and hard to get

 And your horse has also ran,

 When all you have is a heap of debt -

 A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

 When health is bad and your heart feels strange,

 And your face is pale and wan,

 When doctors say you need a change,

 A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

 When food is scarce and your larder bare

 And no rashers grease your pan,

 When hunger grows as your meals are rare -

 A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

 In time of trouble and lousy strife,

 You have still got a darling plan

 You still can turn to a brighter life -

 A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

-- Flann O'Brien