To my firstborn

 To my firstborn,

You are the one who changed everything.
Not just my name. My whole life. My entire identity.
You’re the reason I became a mother, even when I had no idea what I was doing.

With you, I was scared.
I carried so much doubt.
I constantly wondered if I was doing this right, if I was enough, if I was giving you what you deserved.

Every little thing felt big.
Every giggle felt like magic.
Every sleepless night felt like a test I wasn’t sure I would pass.
You were learning the world, and I was learning how to guide you through it.

I didn’t always have it together.
Some days I was quiet when I wanted to be present.
Some days I felt so lost in the chaos that I forgot how far we’d come.
But I always came back to you. Always.

You taught me what love really is.
Not the perfect kind.
The kind that holds steady through the mess, through the growing pains, through every single unknown.

You didn’t just make me a mom.
You made me softer.
You made me stronger.
You made me better.

And I’m still learning. Still growing.
But I promise, I’ll always keep showing up.