My firstborn

 My firstborn made me feel like I had it all figured out.

I read the books, followed the schedules, and thought
“Wow, I’m actually good at this.”

Then came my second.
Louder. Wilder. Messier.
Suddenly, I was on the floor crying during nap time too.

She didn’t follow the rules.
She challenged every method that worked before.
And for the first time I didn’t feel like a good mom
I just felt human.

But that’s the gift she gave me.
She stripped away the ego.
She humbled me.
And most of all
She made me look at other moms with softer eyes.

Because now I know
You can love your kids with everything you’ve got
and still feel like you’re drowning some days.
You can try your hardest and still feel like you’re getting it wrong.
You can be a good mom
even when your child is melting down in aisle seven.

So no
I don’t judge anymore.
I smile at the mom in the parking lot with the screaming toddler.
Because I’ve been her
And I know she’s doing her best.