Land of the Pharaohs (1955)

Impressive exterior crowd scenes (helped along by some nice matte paintings,) and not-so-impressive interiors highlight the story of the building of a pyramid by Khufu (Jack Hawkins,) a conquering, larger-than-life, but still death-obsessed hero Pharaoh, who after capturing a brilliant architect (James Robertson Justice) in battle holds his people hostage so that he will design and manage the project.

Along the way he has the heir he’s wanted for so long; marries a (deceitful) second wife (Joan Collins, hiss!) who helps speed up the leisurely proceedings; fights a bull, loves his treasure, etc.

From his end, the architect’s failing sight endangers his own (by now grown up) son (Dewey Martin) whose life, by becoming his confidant, is now forfeit as all who know the secrets of the tomb must be buried inside it upon the pharaoh’s passing.

While the story is charming but still pure pulp, some of the cool visuals make this most memorable.

I saw this as a small kid and I still remembered the alligator pit; the nifty, sand-based ‘hydraulics’ architectural mechanism; the bald priests with their tongues cut out to ensure their silence (it’s a good thing these guys don’t write, and no one else reads); the pharaoh’s unnatural lust for gold (scenes where he caresses the metal and sings its praises, or where he childishly refuses to share his personal stash with his wife are very funny); the villainous second wife, and a fitting punishment straight out of Verdi’s Aida.

There is one seeming supernatural scene that happens when the gods are announced during a ceremony and each of the god's voices, inexplicably, comes forth from each of their statues.

Sure, it could be a trick, but it could also actually be the voices of the Egyptian Gods themselves.

The Egyptian characters are earnest enough about their beliefs, and the presented alternate culture is vague and not blatantly Jewish so that they are not easily identifiable as stand-ins for the one, true God of Judeo-Christian filmmakers.

I was much too young to be impressed by the curvaceous beauties on display (Collins, but also Luisella Boni,) but today that is only an added plus.

Full disclosure: I bought the Warner Bros. Archive disc and upon finding it would not play on my then current player, I went and upgraded the hardware specifically for this film. Nostalgia is a powerful coloring tool.